Amazing Spider-man #593 and X-Men Origins: Wolverine

This issue was just plain disappointing. Peter seems to be fine with the whole Aunt May thing although he is disgusted. We get a couple cool little pages about Spidey continuing to save people 24/7, which is kinda cool. Then, Peter get lured into a trap by JJJ. He beats up on the troops. Then there is a pretty awesome little conversation in which Spidey admits that he's not really doing this to annoy JJJ, but more to annoy Norman Osborn. He kind of discovers this for himself as well. So, that should get interesting. Maybe, make a nice bridge into American Son. (which I am pumped about BTW) Then, we finally see this new Vulture. He eats people. He has these big vampire-ish teeth and natural wings. Plus, he shoots acid. No, really? He does. This acid supposedly has blinded Spider-man. Like we're supposed to believe that for a second. Anyway, we'll have to see what happens next, but right now this new Vulture is not working for me. I perfer the green one, Adrian Toomes.

This movie was just about how I expected. Below Parr. Hugh Jackman tried way too hard to make the character macho, which makes it unbelievable. He did a much better job in the x-men movies. Sabretooth was amazing. He kept me interested. The story made me laugh more than anything, like the fact that his girlfriend was never really dead and that Sabretooth was his brother. These are both additions to the story as far as I know. Blob was too funny, but then again he had to be. I didn't even know that was Emma Frost until I read the reviews later. Cyclops was ok. The fact that Prof. X showed up made me almost pee my pants I was so excited. And don't even get me started on Deadpool. He absolutely rocked the first half of the movie, but they destroyed him in the second. I hated it. And now he's getting his own movie. Well, I hope they fix him first, because no one is going to pay $10 to see that freak dance around for a whole movie. Please Marvel, FIX THIS. It is one of the main reasons I didn't like this movie. Other than that, the story was silly, but the action scenes KICKED BUTT! Hopefully, Wolverine II can tell a better story and make me love the movie. I give this a B.

Amazing Spider-man #592

Eww! I'm still disgusted by that image. This was on the last page of this week's issue and almost ruined the whole issue for me. Other than that it was a good issue though. So, we start out with Peter wishing he could get away from it all and he notices that someone's been cleaning up his place, but we don't know who. It's a chick with black hair. My guess is that it might be MJ with her hair dyed. No idea though. Anyway, then we see JJJ and JJJsr arguing about Spider-man only to have him show up and decide to be Spidey 24/7. So, that's what he does for three straight days. No Peter. Just Spidey. There's a really cute scene with a Kitten in there. Funny stuff. Meanwhile, there's a new Vulture in town and this one's red. Hopefully it's as good or better than the new Kraven, who I enjoyed. Anyway, Peter sneaks into Aunt May's house for some food and a shower when he hears a creaking noise in the bedroom. And he walks in to see the above image. Ewww! She's old and he's old. That's just disgusting. What is the point of having something like that in the story. I just lost a lot of respect for Mark Waid. P.S. Haven't seen the Wolverine movie. Get back to you when I do though.

Amazing Spider-man #591

This issue is brilliant. We start off with the conclusion to last issue's story as Spidey unmasks to show that he has no head! Sue had made him invisible. So, Johnny's really mad but they must finish their job before there is any arguing. Meanwhile, Spidey's been gone for two months, so a lot happens back on Earth. Harry recovers from being an alcoholic again. J.J.J. gets back together with his wife. (More on him later.) And Norah, remember her from the Hammerhead story, is back and dating Randy Robertson. And Aunt May has become very happy dating J.Jonah Jameson Sr. Ew! DB's Bugle is suffering. The election is heating up. Flash is in the special olympics. And MJ is calling Pete, but the answering machine is full, so the message is erased. Anyway, Spidey and the FF beat the bad guys and he ends up unmasking for them anyway. But first he explains that Mephisto has created a pyschic blank spot. That works. Why he didn't earlier IDK? So now Peter has unmasked to the FF and the New Avengers. Best of all Spidey comes back to figure out who the new mayer is...

J. Jonah Jameson!!!! More next week with 24/7!

Iron Man Amored Adventures

Well guys, I just watched the first episode of the Iron Man cartoon series and let me tell ya, It sucked. I absolutely hated this show. They changed all of the characters so much that it reunied the story for me. Changing Tony to a teen, just reminded me too much of Spider-man. That, the humor, and the animation made me think of Ultimate Spider-man. First of all, nothing Iron Man should ever remind me of Spider-man and secondly it was nothing close to the quality. Rhodes was changed to be like Harry, Pepper was an obvious MJ ripoff, and Happy Hogan was even changed to be like Flash. I give this series an F. And will not be watching it again. I advise any other Iron Man fans to stay away as well.

ASM #589 and #590

First to the return of the spot. And what a return it is. Van Lente took a C-list villian and made him absolutely rock. I loved it. This issue started off kind of slow. With the whole Mafia thing. And the art work was killing me. I hated this issue, but then along came a spider-man. Siqueira might not be too much of an artist, but he draws a kick butt Spidey. Spot appears at the mafia head quarters and just starts beating the crap out of everyone. It's tight. He stabs a dude. Cracks ones neck. Throws the boss clear to Seatle. It's just freakin' sweet. I can't describe the action. You've gotta read it yourself. Anyway, we've got some great character moments in here as well. Spidey tries to talk like Christen Bale. Pretty funny. He also goes to punch spot in the face only to have it go through a portal and punch himself in the nose. Like I said, awesome stuff. And the ending left me speachless. Read this book. Read this book. Now! A+.
Dan Slott returned to his magic for this one. It starts off with this great little story where Spidey and the FF go to space and save these aliens from a bunch of gangsters. As always with the Fantastic Four, there are way too many character moments to mention. I love the FF. But, then we are transported back to the BND world. And Spidey is interagated some costumed bafoon, who correctly says, "You have no more power. Osborn will just let me out." Spidey realizes the guys right, so he gives him a wedgie. LOL! Anyway, the FF come back and tell Spidey that the alien race from a couple of years ago needs help. And Johnny asks why he doesn't remember Spider-man's secret identity anymore. Meanwhile, Mr. Negative is running for mayor of NYC, Bill's depressed, and Harry is drinking again. Spidey goes along with the FF only to find a statue of him there, unmasked. Fortunatly, time has only worn off Peter's face. No one elses. This ticks Johnny off big time. He catches Spidey's mask on fire, which causes him to take it off. Continued next week. Another great issue. I can't wait to see what happens next.

ASM #588 - Character Assassination p. 4

This issue was amazing. I loved it from beginning to end. Spidey saves Vin and they bust out of jail together. So, now Spidey is in big trouble. Meanwhile, Carlie is being arrested until a certain someone shows up. MENACE!! She is going to save Carlie, until Spidey shows up. Peter is getting the crap beat out of him once again. Then, Harry shows up on the glider and in a goblin mask. Freakin' sweet. He and Spidey work together to shoot Lily with an antidote, which unmasks her in front of a large television audience. As this happens, Bill, her dad, is announced Mayor of NYC. Ironic. Vin gets revenge on his boss for the whole spider-tracer thing. Bill resigns after much pressure. And Harry and Pete share a personal moment. End of issue. To be continued in ASM Extra #3.

Too bad I couldn't afford to get ASME #3. But, that didn't stop me from reading all of the reviews on line. It was hard to find, but I think I got the main points. Norman has reinjected and released Lily, who now has full horns. Vin has lost his job and may be spending time in jail. He admits to agreeing to the spider-tracer killings, because of the Kraven's First Hunt a couple of months ago. And Flash returned home from Iraq. Basically, all of Guggenhiem's work wrapped up here. See ya real soon!

Punisher: War Zone, Hulk Vs., and Watchmen

I saw Punisher: War Zone on Wednesday. It was pretty good. Not as great as I expected but pretty good. The story was great. I thought that the guy who played Punisher was excellent. Jigsaw was funny, perhaps too funny. Newman was a perfect fit for the part of Microbe. Everything was great, except for one thing. The violence was ridiculous. I don't mean that there was too much, because I'm perfectly fine with violence. I mean its the Punisher. The violence was just laughable. He blew up a guy with a rocket launcher, punched a guy through the face, everyone bleeds like a fountain, he broke a guys neck with his feet, and chopped off a guy in a wheelchair's head. I found myself laughing at several things that I should not be laughing at. This made it very hard to take this movie seriously. I give it a C+.

Meanwhile, I watched Hulk vs. Wolverine and Hulk vs. Thor. Let me tell you that these movies rocked. They were my first venture into the animated Marvel movies and they made me very excited to see the rest. They were grade A stuff. The Wolverine one was funny. With the event of Deadpool, it had to be. Right? It kept me interested even though most of it was pure fighting. However, Hulk vs. Thor was sheer genious. The story worked. There was fighting but good fighting. Hulk ended up not being the biggest bad guy. It was great. Both of these movies are excellent. Buy them. The Wolverine one gets a B+. Thor earns an A.

I know its not a Marvel movie, but I just couldn't not talk about this movie. It was FANTASTIC. It stayed true to the comic perfectly and even when it didn't it was an improvement. I loved this movie. The gore was a little crazy, but I digged it. The sex scene was a little long, but that's fine too. Everything was great. The opening credits were awesome additions to the story. I don't want to say too much seeing how this is DC, but see this movie NOW. It's possibly the second greatest comic movie ever, but then again the best was DC too. Crap. See this movie. Read this novel. You'll be blown away. A++ on this one.

ASM #587 - part 3 of Character Assassination

So, we left off sooo long ago with Spidey being arrested after Menace beat the crap out of him. And we figured out that Menace is Lily. And Vin had something to do with the Spider-tracer killings. Now your caught up. So, we start with the news anchors interviewing J. Jonah Jameson, who isn't even paying attention because he's so happy that he is humming. It's a great little character moment there. Then, we figure out that it wasn't only Vin who was involved in the spider-tracer killings, but the whole freakin' NYPD. Carlie goes to turn in the whole department only to have the police chief turn it around on her. Now, they are blaming the whole thing on Vin and Carlie. They are arrested. More on that latter. Meanwhile, Matt Murdock is trying his hardest to defend Spidey in court. He has convinced the court to let Peter keep his mask on. Surprise! Seems kinda unrealistic if you ask me. Anywho, Peter sees Vin in jail and tells Matt that he needs to protect him. So, Matt sneaks Spidey a web-shooter in a book. Pretty cool. That night, Spidey sees a bunch of convicts beating up on Vin and busts out to save him. End issue. This issue was really good in my opinon. The reveal of the Spider-tracer killer is greater than I could've ever imagined. And I can't wait for the next issue, which seems like it should've been here by now.

#585 & #586- Character Assassination p.2 and Interlude

Hello, sorry I haven't been updating very often, but I've been grounded and haven't had access to a computer until just now. Anyway, we've got a little two-in-one special for you today. In #585, We get a little tease about who the Spider-tracer killer is, but we don't get any answers. Meanwhile, our hero gets in a fight with Menace who beats the crap out of him and then leaves him for the police. So, this should get interesting. Wouldn't it be funny if Spidey went through all of this just to be unmasked again. Maybe, he'll have to turn himself in to Osborn. Huh? Speaking of unmasked, we do figure out who Menace is. Harry walked in on him/her changing. It is...Lily Hollister. Yeah, really. Pretty lame if you ask me. So, basically, Menace is Paris Hilton. Whatever!

In #586, we get Lily's story. I'll sum it up for you. Daddy never loved her. She found Norman's gobby stuff. Some chemical of his spilled on her. She got goblin-plus powers. Meaning, she doesn't need a mask. Her face changes on its own. She thought that if she fixed the election that would make her daddy love her. Even if he did not know it was her. Oh, and that kiss back in NWTD was nothing. It was just to distract Peter. So, we learn that she's got problems. Of course right, she's a freakin' goblin. Oh, and she said yes to Harry, even though he's P.O.ed. The issue finishes with him putting on the goblin gloves and boots and getting on the glider. So, this could get interesting. I can't wait to read it. I'll see you later. Bye.

#584 - Character Assassination p.1

Ok, this is it. Character Assassination. This is supposed to answer all of our questions. Who is Menace? Who is the Spider-tracer killer? What's going on with Harry and Lilly? Well, we start off with an interesting little chase scene, in which a very funny little reference to Amazing Fantasy #15 is made. (P.S. If you don't know what happened in Amazing Fantasy #15, don't ever consider yourself a Spider-man fan!) Anyway, then we leave that scene to figure out that Carlie has gotten a hold of a Spider-tracer-tracer, which doesn't sound too good for Peter. Then, we figure out that Menace is... Harry Osborn. NOT! It was just a dream! Ha Ha Ha! Got you! Anyway, that mystery will continue. By the way, congrats to Mr. Osborn. Not only is he like first son of like the most powerful man in the universe now, but he is also getting married. He proposed to Lilly Hollister on top of the statue of Liberty with fireworks in the background. Aww! Anyway, then, there is this really awkward Carlie/Peter nudity scene, when Carlie tracks down the traces. She then goes into Vin's room and finds a whole bag of tracers shoved under his bed. Uh oh! So, overall, this issue did not deliver on its promises to answer the questions. If anything it created more. So, let's hope that next week is better, because I am really mad about that fake out. Please, next week, fix this Guggenheim (or else.) Will he? Or is Dylan going to be disappointed again? Find out next week on ASMR! See ya!

P.S. My guesses:

Menace: Dexter Bennett

Spider-tracer Killer: Vin Gonzales (second pick: Randall Crowne)

Spider-Man: Web of Shadows

I know that this game has been out for quite a while now, but I got it for Christmas and have just beaten it, so I figured I could safely review it now. THIS GAME IS INCREDIBLE! I had a blast playing it. The story is great. I mean: Who doesn't want to see a Wolverine symbiote? Awesome! The story starts off pretty basic. You're trying to save New York from gansters and the like. Then, the symbiote seems to go crazy. It infects everyone and everything. Some of the coolest shots are of the city just covered in symbiote. It is really Spectacular. In this game, you must decide wether to embrace the powers of the black suit or reject them. If you decide to stick to the classic suit, like me, you will be teaming up with Wolverine, Luke Cage, and Moon Knight. If you turn to the dark side, you will be teaming with Vulture, Rhino, Black Cat, and Electro (I believe. Not quite sure though). Anyway, the game is amazing. Graphics are sensational. Story is spectacular. The gameplay is challenging but not too challenging. This has been a problem with recent Spider-man games. However, this is clearly the best Spidey game since "Spider-man" for PS1. Now, we are onto 360's and PS3's, so Spidey skipped a generation of gaming I guess. Possibly, the video game of the year in my mind. I give this game an A+.

P.S. I know it's not really Spider-man or a Marvel Movie or anything else I promised to cover, but I've been watching Wolverine and the X-Men and I must say that this show is awesome. It involves a lot of my favorite mutants including Quicksilver. I highly suggest any Marvel fans to check this show out. The only problem is that Wolverine isn't quite as BA as usual. But, what can you expect? It's a kid's show. So, check it out Fridays at 8:00 on Nicktoons Network. Watch it, I'll see you in about a week.

ASM #583

So, this is the one, the historic once in a lifetime Spidey adventure. Spider-man, our humble hero, meets President Barack Obama. This is a very cute, very funny, little backup story. It really makes you laugh with almost every single panel. There is the Chameleon showing off his lack of sports knowledge, Joe Biden/Vulture jokes, and plus its Barack O(freakin')Bama. He is possibly the coolest president ever. Anyway, that's my political views, and that's not what I'm here to talk about.

So, saying all of that nice stuff about the Obama backup story, I have to say the rest of this issue sucks. It is extremely boring. Sure, we asked for Peter Parker on a date again, but not like this. You don't have to spend a whole freakin' issue on it. You'll bore your readers. We get to see JJJ Sr. again, which is nice. Honestly, the people at Marvel were very smart about when to insert that backup story, because there is no way this issue would've sold without it. So, there. I said it. Come and get me Joe Q. Peace out, I'll see you real soon.

Amazing Spider-man #582

So, this week we continue the Molten Man story from last week. You know, last week I was very disappointed by the whole story. I mean, I know it was good but it just wasn't Dan Slott good. This week is Dan Slott good. All of your questions about Harry Osborn are answered in this one. You learn that Harry went down to see Liz because he felt he owed her. So, he comes back to actually help heal Molten Man. We then figure out that that's why he did the human testing we had heard about in New Ways to Die. He was testing this drug for Max. It's really good stuff. Plus, we get some really awesome fight scenes and a hilarious ending (not really) scene. I say not really because there is a side story at the end there. In it, we figure out that the Bookie has finally figured out who the spider-tracer killer is. However, as soon as he tells us this, the killer makes him the next victim. So, Spidey's universe could get very interesting now. So, for the second time in Amazing Spider-man review history, Rest in Peace. This time to the Bookie. See you all in about a week. P.S. Did you see who's coming next week?

R.I.P. Bookie

2007- 2009